Are you pressed by self- governing women?

We doing this or wah ?!? 👙: @_mariecollette_

A post shared by Kaci Fennell (@kacifen) on

Jamaican beauty queen, Kaci Fennell is in Trinidad for Carnival and appears to be more than ready for the road. Fennell, who placed fourth in the 2014 Miss Universe pageant posted the above picture to her Instagram feed that seems to have raised the ire of many. Foota Hype (a Jamaican personality) decided to take it upon himself to repost Kaci’s image with the caption, ” don’t care if this is miss Jamaica or miss world this nuh look good u favor ediot carnival mek u degrade uself exposing uself smfh better u did come a one dance Inna one batty rider” and then added  #ilovedancehall

The cultural issues that seem to be involved with Jamaicans embracing Carnival I will not get into because I simply can’t relate. In many Caribbean islands, the festival is put on by the government and is embedded in the culture  whereas in Jamaica, the “franchise” is privately owned and seems to cause a divide between different social strata so the implications of some Jamaicans being Carnival fans while not embracing dancehall culture is something that I am able to speak on.

However, what I will address is how perturbed some people are with the decisions that grown women make in their own lives. Kaci, in her clap back to Foota’s statement said that she wore her outfit for her- not for the sake of anyone else. However, some people seemed to believe that Kaci did not have the autonomy to make such a call. In comments on news and social media sites, some stated that  Kaci as a married woman ought to dress better. One person asked, “Would you feel good to know that your daughter or wife dresses this way?” But why is it that some seemed to overlook whether Kaci, the person actually sporting the ensemble felt comfortable in what she was wearing? Why did the morality of what she had on have to lie with someone other than her? I don’t get it. If you do not like the outfit, fine. If you found it to be distasteful, fine. But what made other persons qualified to dictate what a woman should wear? Why should a woman be obligated to put the feelings of others over her own in choosing her attire?

To whom it may concern, I never respond to hate like this but something inside me couldn't allow myself to see this and brush it off like I usually do, especially with what our women have been going through recently. I have grown to completely ignore comments like these. This type of man here is a big part of the problem we are currently facing, not everything I do will be accepted by everyone and there is nothing wrong with that, the problem lies with this person believing he has the authority to comment or even dictate how a woman should carry herself. Instead of celebrating us they tear us down, this type of man makes women second guess themselves and that is absolutely unacceptable because our women are heaven sent and it saddens me that situations like this lower their self esteem. I wore this for me! I felt so beautiful and sexy (thank you @mariecollete) at no point was I seeking for anyone else's approval but my own and that's how it should be always. To any one out there that has been a victim of cyber bullying I just wanted to let you know that you are loved, you are wonderfully made, you are beautiful, you are a masterpiece…. Don't you ever let another person ever make you feel otherwise. Continue to be yourself no matter what negativity may come your way. Wait till him see what I wearing tomorrow 🤔 Ps. I love dancehall, when have I ever said I didn't ?!? 🙈

A post shared by Kaci Fennell (@kacifen) on

Kaci’s response to Foota’s comments.

I am so over men taking their fastness and feeling that because they have a bit of flesh hanging beneath them, they are automatically some kind of oracle  and ought to be enlightening the rest of us earthlings on how we should live and conduct ourselves. Foota openly admitted on On Stage to hitting the mother of his child, dancehall artiste, Ishawna. The manner in which he spoke of the subject made it seem as if he believed it was the most natural thing for a man to hit a woman that he is in “relationship” with. Imagine that a man that is so openly depraved found it within himself to be worthy of speaking on what is correct women’s behaviour. 😦

The mere fact that Foota Hype could be so open about committing domestic abuse while wanting to play dress code police for a woman made me wonder about the potential faults of the persons who commented that they shared Foota’s sentiments. We can be so quick to think that we have the right to dictate how strangers should be without taking into mind our own flaws and without considering others’ family background, education, social circles and a myriad of things that cause people to put together their own standards which are subject to change over time.

This article was timely because of the issue with Kaci Fennell, but it is not just about her. It is about women who swear and are told it’s not ladylike; it’s about women who maybe just want to have sex and go about their business. They don’t want a relationship. It’s about women who may not dress traditionally feminine; it’s about the women who cannot throw down in the kitchen; the woman  who seems to be unable to grow long hair while society teaches her that it is what she should aim for;  this is about the tall girls who feel insecure and afraid to wear heels because they are taught that they should be smaller than a man and therefore less threatening. There is so much that a woman is expected to be that seems to cater more to the egos of men than to her own well-being. Women are not a monolith. We do not share the same standards nor do we share the same stories. We have different interests and some of us whether we are married or single want to go to Trinidad and wine up with our butts hanging out. This may not be your cup of tea and that’s fine. You will not be forced to participate but the throwing around of expectations of what a woman should and should not do especially by people who do not know her personally ought to stop. We can argue that we just want the “best for someone” and that’s why we give unsolicited advice but sometimes we really need to know our place and back off. Kaci has a husband, family and friends. I’m sure that the persons closest to her have her best interests at heart and she like many of us would prefer to hear recommendations from people who we have proven to really be looking out for us.

We can make our own decisions. Please respect that.